Why does this have to be so hard

Ok so I haven't posted in a while but I am back!  I have had a really hard time!  One week I can do good all week then the weekend comes and I BLOW everything I just accomplished.  I have to admit hot wings are my downfall...yes I know you are saying "I thought you were vegetarian" yes I am BUT I am human and have given into my "fleshly" desires on more than one occasion!  It seems I always have the "I'll start again on Monday" attitude.  Well I am here to say that is FINISHED!!!
I just purchased a book called Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst and I am only in the 5th chapter but it is really speaking to me.  She talks about crying out to God for help and speaking out that "I am made for more than this".  I have to admit I have not been crying out to Him for help. When I am struggling I am not going to Him and pouring out my heart when I want that "food" that is SCREAMING out to me. Nope instead I give in to my flesh and satisfy it ~ overly for that matter ~ then the cycle of feelings come in to play of guilt,I'll start over tomorrow and then the thoughts of I am going to struggle with this for the rest of my life!
Well I am still here and NOT giving in, no way I have come too far to be defeated!
 I now have an accountability partner, one that I was told could never hold me accountable because we were too close.  I am no longer believing that lie.  My accountability partner is my husband, the love of my life,my BEST friend, and the one who knows me the VERY best next to God himself!  I share with him when I am struggling and he will help me.  I will also be calling on God and I am sure crying when I want my way.
If you too are wanting an accountability partner I would love to be that for you.  For me if I am helping someone else it helps me.  I have started by writing out my plan.  My plan is very simple to start with but cuts out a lot of questions...if it is not part of my plan then I will not partake.  Below I will list my plan so if I am with you and you have read this please feel free to help keep me to my plan.  The more accountability the better! 
I am asking all of you who are reading this to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE keep me in your prayers believe with me that God will help me in this that I will stay true to my plan and with His help I will stay true to Hebrews 12:11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.  Believe me I am going through the painful part now but I know on the other side there is the fruit of righteousness and peace! Also please pray for my dear husband that he has the strength, love and endurance to put up with my flesh!  I can be pretty nasty when I want something and do not get my way :)
What I want from all of this is first the freedom from the "love" of food.  Second a closer relationship with my heavenly Father.  Third the peace that surpasses all understanding.  At this moment I do not have peace but feel a war inside of me. Lastly a healthy, vibrant and energetic body one that is a light in the darkness and can help those that are on the same dark path that I have been on!
Well I think I have encouraged myself and I believe I was made for more than this struggle with food!  I hope everyone has an awesome and blessed week!  Let me know if you have any comments or questions.  God Bless!

My Plan
No dairy
No meat
No sugar
No wheat
No caffeine
No alcohol